


Comfort Food for Beginners, Interlude:  A Day at the Supermarket (Dean/Castiel)

by squeemonster



Series: Comfort Food [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-08
Updated: 2011-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 11:30:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/560571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squeemonster/pseuds/squeemonster





	Comfort Food for Beginners, Interlude:  A Day at the Supermarket (Dean/Castiel)

**Title** :  Comfort Food for Beginners, Interlude:  A Day at the Supermarket  
 **Pairing** :  Dean/Castiel  
 **Rating** :  R (for language)  
 **Word Count** :  735  
 **Notes** :  Another interlude for my Comfort Food series. This series is not in chronological order, it's just different scenes from the lives of those in Team Free Will, focusing on the relationship between Dean and Cas. Set after the events of season six, Castiel is now fully human and hunting with the Winchesters. Many thanks to [](http://zatnikatel.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://zatnikatel.livejournal.com/) **zatnikatel**  who whipped my writing into readable shape and makes me laugh and helps with the ~sexy stuff.  
 **Summary** :  Bananas are better than carrots for multi-tasking.

 

"Dean, I don't think that's a good bunch."

"Sure it is. They're all pretty long and thick. And look how curved they are."

"That's the problem. I believe they are too long for this."

"Aw, don't sell yourself short, buddy. Heh. Here, lemme show ya--"

"Guys, what the hell are you doing with those bananas?"

"Dean needs help with his fellating technique."

" ... "

"Dammit, Cas, you make it sound like I'm no good at it! I'm good at giving head! I just need... I need some practice, okay? My gag reflex sucks. Or it doesn't let _me_ suck, more like it."

"Soooo, you were deep-throating a banana in the middle of the supermarket because...?"

"Dean believes that if he had something on which to practice, it would aid in improving his abilities. We were just trying to find something that would be sufficiently similar to my penis."

" ...Oh my GOD... "

"Shut up, Sammy. I'm awesome at every sex thing I've ever tried. There is no way I'm gonna settle for being less than the best at giving head. No matter how many carrots and bananas I have to go through."

"Wait. _Carrots_? Is that why we had stew with carrots last week?"

" ...Uhhh. Yeah?"

"YOU PUT CARROTS THAT YOU HAD _FELLATED_ IN MY STEW?!"

"Chill the fuck out, dude. I'm sure you've eaten worse."

"Have you considered maybe, I dunno, _getting a dildo_? That would give a good approximation, and you wouldn't be molesting my food."

"Dude, I'm not spending the money on a fucking dildo. Besides, food is quick and easy and you get to eat it afterwards."

"Dean, I believe this bunch would suffice."

"Lemme take a look at it... oh yeeeah, those'll do just fine. Way thicker than those carrots were. Look at that girth. You know, sometimes I wonder if my mouth is gonna be wide enough to take all of you in... "

"Thank you, Dean. That's a very thoughtful thing for you to say."

"Am I hallucinating Hell again?"

"But I do believe the curvature may not be accurate enough."

"No way. I think the curve is perfect."

"I'm sorry, Dean, but I think you're wrong. The angle should be about six to seven degrees more pronounced than it is."

"Cas, trust me. Out of the two of us, I'm the one who's had the most intimate encounters with your dick. The angle is close enough to count. Look, I'll show you--"

"Dean, if you deep-throat that banana I am grabbing your keys and leaving you both here to get arrested for public lewdness."

"Heh, I bet I could teach these little old ladies a thing or two."

"I'm sure you could, Dean. Your endurance and creativity alone are enough to educate even the most close-minded and uninspired of people."

"Do you guys _always_ have to talk about this stuff when I'm around?"

"Sure we do, Sammy. We don't want to exclude you."

"Please, I'm begging you. _Exclude me_."

"Dean, those bananas are not sufficient."

"Cas, I'm telling you, that curve is almost the exact angle as your dick is when it's hard."

" ...Actually... Do you mean fully hard or half hard? The angle can change with the length, you know. Besides, you have to take into consideration what angle you're coming _in_ from, too. It's gonna be different depending on if you're coming in and down or out and up, and also---what?"

" ... "

" _What_?"

"Dude, are you trying to help me figure out how to suck Cas's dick better?"

" ...Oh my GOD."

"Yeeeah... "

"I was, wasn't I? I need a drink."

"No, you need to get laid."

"And brain bleach. Add brain bleach to the shopping list."

"Already added, you freak."

"Is Sam not going to finish what he was saying? He sounded like he had some helpful suggestions."

"Cas, the day I take my brother's advice on sex is the day I become a monk. _I got this_. Even if I have to do some tantric relaxation kel-no-reem bullshit, I'm gonna learn to suck you down so good your eyes will roll back outta your head."

"That... sounds unpleasant, Dean."

"Shut up and grab the bananas."

 


End file.
